Hi! I'm sorry, I know. I've missed you too. I've actually been working on this post for a while - I just didn't know how to say it.
But then, tonight - I read the post that I was trying to create - written by another mother, on another blog. So I'm going to send you there to read it.
Before I do, let me give you a little background.
Recently, I was finishing project #2 (I'll post pictures later). I was having a great night! I had a couple friends over. Jon had a friend over too and we were all sitting downstairs with Grandma. It was a perfect evening filled with laughter and crafts and music. Then my phone dinged. I had an email from an Expectant Mom.
I read her email - and I was hopeful. But cautious. It sounded funny. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and I emailed her back. Then we did some background work, and it looked like this woman was real. We exchanged emails back and forth - and then, just as quickly as it began, the emails stopped. Right when I asked her to contact my agency. And then the rest of the information came in.
You see, I am a part of several groups that protect each other against scams. Whenever an adoptive couple is messaged, and it sounds ... off ... we cross check. And this woman had been caught in several lies.
Turns out this girl was running a scam. Sadly, this is a real thing. I'm generally met with disbelief whenever I tell somebody that this sort of scam exists.
Let me give you quick rundown: there are generally two types of scams ran on hopeful adoptive parents:
1. An expectant mother contacts a couple and makes an adoption plan with them. Asks for living expenses to be paid, or medical expenses to be paid. Gives birth, and then keeps the baby. There is no protection for the hopeful adoptive parents who have just lost all that money. They are sent away to a home that they have prepared to be parents in, with no baby.
Let me VERY clear. To make an adoption plan knowing full well that you will not follow through is a scam. Making an adoption plan, and then deciding to parent the child is not a scam. Every mother has the right to change her mind and parent her child. That is not the situation I am describing above.
2. Worse (in my opinion) is the emotional scammer. In most cases, an emotional scammer isn't even pregnant. An emotional scammer steals ultrasound pictures from the internet and passes them off as her own (even worse - you can buy them. And fake positive pregnancy tests, too). They take you for an emotional ride - having all the power over you. They will say things like "If you want this baby ..." or "I'm going to find somebody else if you won't ..." They do it for fun. They do it to feel powerful. This was the type of scam that I was hit with.
In this case, I'm lucky. I realized that I was being scammed within 24 hours. I did not invest any money in this situation, and I was not emotionally invested yet either. I was easily able to walk away. But I was angry. I am still angry. I know couples, real live people, who have lost thousands of dollars and months of their lives to scammers. It's heartbreaking. It's horrific. And there's nothing that can be done to stop it.
So that's the background. If you click here, you will be taken to another blog and an open letter written to adoption scammers. It's short - but to the point. It's exactly everything that I wish I could say.
Love,
Nikisha
But then, tonight - I read the post that I was trying to create - written by another mother, on another blog. So I'm going to send you there to read it.
Before I do, let me give you a little background.
Recently, I was finishing project #2 (I'll post pictures later). I was having a great night! I had a couple friends over. Jon had a friend over too and we were all sitting downstairs with Grandma. It was a perfect evening filled with laughter and crafts and music. Then my phone dinged. I had an email from an Expectant Mom.
I read her email - and I was hopeful. But cautious. It sounded funny. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and I emailed her back. Then we did some background work, and it looked like this woman was real. We exchanged emails back and forth - and then, just as quickly as it began, the emails stopped. Right when I asked her to contact my agency. And then the rest of the information came in.
You see, I am a part of several groups that protect each other against scams. Whenever an adoptive couple is messaged, and it sounds ... off ... we cross check. And this woman had been caught in several lies.
Turns out this girl was running a scam. Sadly, this is a real thing. I'm generally met with disbelief whenever I tell somebody that this sort of scam exists.
Let me give you quick rundown: there are generally two types of scams ran on hopeful adoptive parents:
1. An expectant mother contacts a couple and makes an adoption plan with them. Asks for living expenses to be paid, or medical expenses to be paid. Gives birth, and then keeps the baby. There is no protection for the hopeful adoptive parents who have just lost all that money. They are sent away to a home that they have prepared to be parents in, with no baby.
Let me VERY clear. To make an adoption plan knowing full well that you will not follow through is a scam. Making an adoption plan, and then deciding to parent the child is not a scam. Every mother has the right to change her mind and parent her child. That is not the situation I am describing above.
2. Worse (in my opinion) is the emotional scammer. In most cases, an emotional scammer isn't even pregnant. An emotional scammer steals ultrasound pictures from the internet and passes them off as her own (even worse - you can buy them. And fake positive pregnancy tests, too). They take you for an emotional ride - having all the power over you. They will say things like "If you want this baby ..." or "I'm going to find somebody else if you won't ..." They do it for fun. They do it to feel powerful. This was the type of scam that I was hit with.
In this case, I'm lucky. I realized that I was being scammed within 24 hours. I did not invest any money in this situation, and I was not emotionally invested yet either. I was easily able to walk away. But I was angry. I am still angry. I know couples, real live people, who have lost thousands of dollars and months of their lives to scammers. It's heartbreaking. It's horrific. And there's nothing that can be done to stop it.
So that's the background. If you click here, you will be taken to another blog and an open letter written to adoption scammers. It's short - but to the point. It's exactly everything that I wish I could say.
Love,
Nikisha
