This post has been over two weeks in the making. Believe me, it has been so difficult for me to not blog about developments every single day, but then I would just ramble incoherently. So here are the important parts:
January 29
Our social worker contacted us on Tuesday afternoon (the day before yesterday) to tell us that a birth mother wants to meet us, and two other families. She'll interview each of us for an hour on February 13th - and make a decision on who she would like to parent her child.
I can't (and don't want to) give more information other than that in this forum at this moment in time. It's hard for me to process how this makes me feel. At first, when I got the news, I was incredibly excited. I still am. But then I started thinking of all the the details - I quickly became overwhelmed. We could be parents in a month. A month. Parents. We have a crib. And a changing table. And a dresser. That's it.
As if that wasn't enough to freak me out, I also became hyper aware of another fact of this potential match. This birth mother has already given birth to her child. By the time placement happens, she will have been parenting this little one for over 2 months. I can't imagine the pain and heartbreak this decision must be causing this poor woman.
Furthermore, if she chooses us to parent her child, how in the world am I going to drive to this girl's home (or maybe we'll meet at the agency?) and literally take her baby away from her? I've always known this was a part of the adoption process, and I know she is making this adoption plan because she loves her child and wants to do what's best for, but ... I just don't have words. It was this realization that broke my heart.
That's all I have for now. We'll meet her on the 13th - the same day that we're closing on our house, so it'll be a big day on all fronts.
February 10
Time is going by really fast. I expected this time to drag slowly. But it isn't. I have also realized what wonderful people I have in my life supporting me. My students particularly have been so incredibly encouraging and amazing. The majority of the time when people learn I work with teenagers, they always say something along the lines of "I don't know how you do it", but it really is the biggest blessing of my life.
I discovered today that some students have been tweeting and re-tweeting Jonathan and my adoption story. It really took my by surprise, and touched my heart a lot. Doesn't have much to do with the potential match - but really made me feel good.
February 13
Well, it's been quite the day for us. It started at 7am when we went and closed on our house. That's right, we are now homeowners! Yay!!
After signing about a billion documents (but less than the amount we had to sign for the adoption), we headed out to Richmond. I was a basket of nerves all day - but even more so on the drive up there. We got to Richmond about an hour early, so had lunch and grabbed some coffee. Then we went over to the agency.
After waiting maybe 5 minutes in the lobby, our social worker came and got us and brought us into a room that was set up much like a living room. That's where we met this lovely young woman and her mother. All of my nerves disappeared at that moment.
Jonathan and I sat down on a couch and the "interview" began. We talked about how Jon and I met, what kind of parents we hope to be, what kind of activities we would do with the baby, why we chose adoption, etc. We also go to learn a lot about her and her family, why she is choosing adoption, her hopes for her child, that we have a mutual love for Harry Potter, the degree of openness she wished for in her adoption, and a lot more.
I expected to leave this meeting anxious and nervous. But I didn't. I feel that the meeting went really well. I feel like we connected with this young woman and her mother in some way. Jonathan and I agree that if we were to be chosen, it would be absolutely amazing. We would become parents and be able to foster a relationship with the extraordinary young woman and her family that would enrich the baby's life, and create almost an extended family for us as well.
But we also feel like she is going to make the right decision for her baby. She was clearly an incredibly intelligent young woman and will know exactly who is right. And if that's not us, that's okay. It's a feeling of contentment. And I like that a lot.
Our support network has continued to amaze me to no end. We've had so many acts of love this past week because people knew how scary this was for us. How did we get so lucky?
I've considered not posting this until the final outcome (to happen sometime in the coming week) - but decided that I would like that post to be by itself. So until then, I hope everybody is doing well!
Nikisha
January 29
Our social worker contacted us on Tuesday afternoon (the day before yesterday) to tell us that a birth mother wants to meet us, and two other families. She'll interview each of us for an hour on February 13th - and make a decision on who she would like to parent her child.
I can't (and don't want to) give more information other than that in this forum at this moment in time. It's hard for me to process how this makes me feel. At first, when I got the news, I was incredibly excited. I still am. But then I started thinking of all the the details - I quickly became overwhelmed. We could be parents in a month. A month. Parents. We have a crib. And a changing table. And a dresser. That's it.
As if that wasn't enough to freak me out, I also became hyper aware of another fact of this potential match. This birth mother has already given birth to her child. By the time placement happens, she will have been parenting this little one for over 2 months. I can't imagine the pain and heartbreak this decision must be causing this poor woman.
Furthermore, if she chooses us to parent her child, how in the world am I going to drive to this girl's home (or maybe we'll meet at the agency?) and literally take her baby away from her? I've always known this was a part of the adoption process, and I know she is making this adoption plan because she loves her child and wants to do what's best for, but ... I just don't have words. It was this realization that broke my heart.
That's all I have for now. We'll meet her on the 13th - the same day that we're closing on our house, so it'll be a big day on all fronts.
February 10
Time is going by really fast. I expected this time to drag slowly. But it isn't. I have also realized what wonderful people I have in my life supporting me. My students particularly have been so incredibly encouraging and amazing. The majority of the time when people learn I work with teenagers, they always say something along the lines of "I don't know how you do it", but it really is the biggest blessing of my life.
I discovered today that some students have been tweeting and re-tweeting Jonathan and my adoption story. It really took my by surprise, and touched my heart a lot. Doesn't have much to do with the potential match - but really made me feel good.
February 13
Well, it's been quite the day for us. It started at 7am when we went and closed on our house. That's right, we are now homeowners! Yay!!
After signing about a billion documents (but less than the amount we had to sign for the adoption), we headed out to Richmond. I was a basket of nerves all day - but even more so on the drive up there. We got to Richmond about an hour early, so had lunch and grabbed some coffee. Then we went over to the agency.
After waiting maybe 5 minutes in the lobby, our social worker came and got us and brought us into a room that was set up much like a living room. That's where we met this lovely young woman and her mother. All of my nerves disappeared at that moment.
Jonathan and I sat down on a couch and the "interview" began. We talked about how Jon and I met, what kind of parents we hope to be, what kind of activities we would do with the baby, why we chose adoption, etc. We also go to learn a lot about her and her family, why she is choosing adoption, her hopes for her child, that we have a mutual love for Harry Potter, the degree of openness she wished for in her adoption, and a lot more.
I expected to leave this meeting anxious and nervous. But I didn't. I feel that the meeting went really well. I feel like we connected with this young woman and her mother in some way. Jonathan and I agree that if we were to be chosen, it would be absolutely amazing. We would become parents and be able to foster a relationship with the extraordinary young woman and her family that would enrich the baby's life, and create almost an extended family for us as well.
But we also feel like she is going to make the right decision for her baby. She was clearly an incredibly intelligent young woman and will know exactly who is right. And if that's not us, that's okay. It's a feeling of contentment. And I like that a lot.
Our support network has continued to amaze me to no end. We've had so many acts of love this past week because people knew how scary this was for us. How did we get so lucky?
I've considered not posting this until the final outcome (to happen sometime in the coming week) - but decided that I would like that post to be by itself. So until then, I hope everybody is doing well!
Nikisha
